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Pantsless in Portland

The creator of Erotisphere writes about the website,
the Portland scene, and life without pants.

by AnDroid

Drinking Cheap at DV8

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 25 June 2009 16:20

The other day my brother Marko and I were walking back to my place from the liquor store and decided to pop into DV8 for a quick visit. Back when we'd just moved to Portland we used to hit the place pretty frequently, but it'd been quite a while since we'd hung out there together. We were both broke, so we agreed to limit our stay to just a couple of rounds.

Not much had changed, except there were now banners advertising ˝ price drinks 5-7 daily, as if the drinks aren't cheap enough as it is. I recall that they raised their prices a while back, but with $3 Jack & Cokes and $2.25 PBR they're still cheaper than pretty much any other strip club I can think of. Marko and I ordered drinks from a familiar bartender and headed to a table in the corner. To my left was a fake fireplace over which hung a painting of JFK, Bill Clinton, Angelina Jolie, and G.W. Bush leering at two strippers. I love that painting.

Dancers stripped to rock music on both stages, and the DJ did the usual routine between songs: “Tip the girls,” “Time to switch,” etc. I'm not usually a fan of DJ's at strip clubs - I prefer it when dancers pick their own music, assuming they're not country fans. It was at this place in particular where, a couple years ago, I was at the rail complaining loudly about the Metallica and Rob Zombie the DJ was playing when the DJ's voice came over the PA and said, “Hey fuck you, buddy.” Marko and I ended up chatting with him at the bar later that night while waiting for a cab. He seemed like a cool guy, so now I just leave the DJ issue alone, at least when it comes to DV8. I do appreciate that they will play Marilyn Manson more than once in an hour. That takes balls.

Marko pointed out that there was a free buffet going on, and we were both hungry, so we grabbed plates and loaded them up with turkey and corn and mashed potatoes and gravy. The bartender informed us that the buffet happens every day from 5-7, and the menu differs depending on the day. The food was much appreciated.

While we were eating, Marko told me this was his favorite strip club. When I asked him why, he said, “It's a regular dive bar with strippers.” I'd say it's more of a mix between the two. The pool tables, darts, pinball, and video crack are kind of sectioned off in their own area. We've played pool here before, and along with the cheap drinks it would be easy to forget you're in a strip club if it weren't for the occasional half-naked stripper joining in on a game every now and then. On the other hand, the main area is definitely all strip club, complete with black lights, flashing LED strip lights around pit-style stages, and even a disco ball. Oh, and strippers.

Still, DV8 has a laid-back, neighborhood dive kinda vibe. I've never felt like I was being hustled. The girls are usually easy to talk to. During a bender a few years ago I paid a stripper here $5 to let me give her a foot massage because she was complaining that her thigh-high boots were making her feet hurt. I ended up sucking on her sweaty toes. That kind of thing doesn't happen at most places.

I pretty much love every strip club I go to, and I'm too indecisive to call a single one my absolute favorite, but DV8 has given me a hell of a lot of great fucking memories. There aren't a lot of places where two broke losers can go and leave feeling satisfied, but as Marko and I drank our third round with bellies full of food, I threw the last few dollars from my wallet onto the stage in front of the skinniest stripper I've ever seen, her body completely shaved, and the furthest thing from my mind was this country's economic collapse.




# sketchyjustin 2009-06-25 08:51
I'm really excited that, as of next week, I'll be living three or four blocks away from DV8. Frequent visits could happen.
# AnDroid 2009-06-25 09:02
I'm still editing it! I just wanted to get it posted by 4:20. Anyways, I'm looking forward to hanging out with you there. It's not too bad of a walk from my place.
# Marko 2009-06-25 14:26
I was a bit reluctant to stop in b/c I'm so broke but had a good time in spite of having a light wallet.

Moral of the story - When in doubt listen to AnDrew about whether or not it's appropriate to hit the strip club. He's usually right.
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