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Pantsless in Portland

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The creator of Erotisphere writes about the website,
the Portland scene, and life without pants.

by AnDroid
admin@erotisphere.com

Rooster's

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 04 February 2010 16:20

Update 2013: Rooster's has changed ownership and reopened as Jag's Clubhouse.

Last Friday, Vera Mysteria and I went out in search of a strip club in North Portland that was rumored to be wild and generally hardcore. Rooster's is in a two-story house painted red to look like a barn. On the side of the building there's a large painting of a leather-clad rooster riding a chopper and brandishing a large gun, and if you look closely you'll notice there's a bullet shooting out of the gun. Well that's just badass. The parking lot is pretty small, only really fit for motorcycles. Vera parked on the street. There was a light rain as we approached the building, and a couple guys were puffing on cigarettes under the covered smoking area outside.

 

Stripper Economics

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 28 January 2010 16:20

Last Saturday I attended a lecture at Reed College on the economics of stripping. I've lived extremely close to Reed for the last few years,  but this was the first time I'd had an excuse to check out the campus. Just like when I was in college six years ago, I ended up rushing to get out the door on time. I'd had a “business meeting” the night before that involved heavy drinking downtown, and I woke up a bit late and foggy-headed. I didn't have time to shower before I left, so I just threw on a ratty old Nine Inch Nails t-shirt and some jeans and headed out.

 

Interview with the Chat Bot

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 21 January 2010 16:20

The Ultra Hal Assistant, created by Robert Medeksza of Zabaware Inc., is supposed to be one of the most human-like examples of artificial intelligence available. Their conversational system, commonly known as a chat bot, won the Loebner Prize in 2007 after completing the Turing test, in which computers and people respond to text questions, and judges try to determine which responses are coming from a human.

 

"World's First Sex Robot" FAIL

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 14 January 2010 16:20

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Like many young pervs, when I was a little boy I fantasized about having a sex bot to fool around with. I don't know where the idea originated. Maybe I came up with it because I didn't really know what female genitals looked like, so I needed something abstract to focus on, or maybe it's just an idea that most nerdy, sexually deviant boys develop naturally on their own. All I can say for sure is that those fantasies kept me going for a good couple of years, at least until I found my dad's porn stash and started fantasizing about real girls.

 

Happy New Year!

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 31 December 2009 16:20

Well, 2009 wasn't too bad a year for me personally. I got a couple of projects rolling that I'd been working on in my head for years – the first being this website, the second being the novel I got started during National Novel Writing Month (I failed miserably trying to write 50k words in a month, but I got about a third of the novel written, which for me was no small feat). I got laid off, but that turned out to be kind of a good thing. I was sick of that crappy job anyway.

 

Christmas Hell

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 24 December 2009 16:20

I've never been religious, and my family wasn't what you'd call Christian, but we did celebrate Christmas. As a kid I sure loved the hell outta that holiday. My sister and I had a running agreement that whoever woke up first on Christmas morning would wake up the other kid, and we'd creep into the living room together. It didn't matter what the presents were; the lights on the plastic Christmas tree and the festive smells of the musty old stockings and scented candles and the sheer anticipation made everything perfect.

 

Cooling Gel

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 17 December 2009 16:20

Last week I broke down and bought a tube of hemorrhoid cooling gel at the downtown Rite Aid. I was particularly apprehensive about buying such an embarrassing product at that location since I buy beer there often enough that the checkers probably recognize me, but I bravely stood in line cradling the yellow box, trying to hide the label from the teenage girls milling around, and I was relieved to get the Indian guy as my checker. He might whisper to the female checkers that I have hemorrhoids the next time he sees me shopping there, but at least he never tries to talk to me. I thought about saying it was for my grandma as I set the box on the counter in front of him, but instead I paid in silence, and he gave me only a brief mischievous glance as he put the thing in a little plastic bag, which I stuffed in my backpack on my way out.

 

NoPo Anticon: The Aftermath

Written by Surly Santa   
Thursday, 10 December 2009 16:20

I awoke on a stranger's floor, fully clothed in my red Santa suit and heavy black boots. Next to me my hat, wig, and beard were scrunched up beside an overturned glass pipe. I picked up the pipe and jabbed my finger into the bowl, feeling nothing inside but ash. Then, grabbing a  coffee cup from the cluttered coffee table, I stumbled past the fat guy sleeping on the couch and went into the kitchen. Shoving stacks of dirty dishes aside, I filled the cup with water from the faucet and took a swig, grimacing from the taste of plastic and rust.

 

Doug Stanhope: Our Drunken Antihero

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 03 December 2009 16:20

Comedian Doug Stanhope came out with his new album, From Across the Street, just in time for one of my least favorite holidays this year, and it's a cheerfully dark, fucking depraved masterpiece of comedy. It's “not for everyone,” as he frequently reminds you, which falls right in line with the brooding, drug-addled Portland spirit. He's got a bit of a cult following here. He's what you might call a Portland sweetheart - meaning when he's in town he likes to put cigarettes out on our bare inner thigh and ram his spit-lubed finger up our ass, just how we like it.

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 26 November 2009 16:20
If you're lonely enough to be reading this blog on Thanksgiving, BarFly has put together a list of bars that are open today, which includes a few of my favorite strip clubs: DV8, Hawthorne Strip, and, of course, Mary's Club!
 
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