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Pantsless in Portland

The creator of Erotisphere writes about the website,
the Portland scene, and life without pants.

by AnDroid

Casey's is Still Open

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 12 November 2009 16:20

I hadn't left the house in over a week when I met a couple friends at a poetry slam at Backspace last Sunday evening. The slam was alright. The girl who ended up winning was pretty talented, and she turned out to be only 18, which was impressive. When the thing was over I still felt rambunctious. The friends I'd met hopped on a bus to go home, and I stood on the street corner wondering what to do. I saw that there were lights on up the street at Casey's, so I decided to check it out.


Halloween and NaNoWriMo

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 05 November 2009 16:20

I went out to get beer last night and realized our house is the only one on the block with Halloween decorations still up. The skeleton on our door is getting real spider webs on it, the jack-o-lanterns are starting to sag, and the striped stockings on the mannequin legs sticking out from under our house are getting soggy and mud-stained. Yesterday was actually the first time I'd stepped outside since Halloween. I've been locked in the house, banging away at my computer. For the first time I'm seriously participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).



Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 29 October 2009 16:49

“Drink the sickness away,” my mom used to say. I pondered this as I inhaled the steam from my hot toddy, my breath ragged, my throat sore, my nose completely stuffed up. Laurel was sipping a dirty martini and telling me about her crazy dating life. She was dressed up nice and showing a considerable amount of cleavage. We were pre-loading for the final screening of HUMP!, the amateur porn festival showing a Cinema 21.


Puppetry of the Penis

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 22 October 2009 16:20

I love older women, particularly cougars, and this week I got to observe them in one of their natural habitats. On Sunday, Kimbot and I attended the Puppetry of the Penis show at the Aladdin Theater, along with the biggest horde of MILFs and rabid cougars I've ever seen. Hussied-up middle-aged women packed the seats of the venue en masse, forming a mob of push-up-bra-cleavage, big hair, and meaty calves, and all to see two young men play with their average-sized penises. I was reminded of the final scene from Full Monty, and it got me thinking: Could Portland support a full-time male strip club for women?


KMFDM: A Haiku

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 15 October 2009 16:20

is the greatest band ever.
Suck it, other bands.



Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 08 October 2009 16:20

I'm moody by nature. It's in my bipolar genes. Sometimes I get an itch, a crazy itch inside my brain, and I have this insuppressible urge to find trouble. In the summer of 2006, I was sitting alone at the rail at a strip club called the Acropolis, and I actually found Trouble. She lived up to her name.


Breakup Sex

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 01 October 2009 16:20

Nina and I are naked, sprawled out over blankets and pillows on the living room floor of my father's apartment, which is where I've been living since I graduated from college three months ago. With my head tucked between her thighs, I'm rolling my tongue around Nina's clitoris, keeping it slick with my saliva. In my head I'm thinking, “This is it. I'll never get to taste this again.” We broke up almost two weeks ago, and I know this is probably the last time we'll ever have sex, so I'm giving it my all.


Men's Wellness Center Movin' On Up

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 24 September 2009 16:20

I've always been really anal about STD testing. The first time I got tested I was seventeen. I'd gotten into a relationship with a girl, and she was on birth control, so I suggested to her that we both get tested before we had sex, and then we could safely do it without using condoms. We'd only been together a couple weeks and were taking it relatively slow. I had a feeling we'd be together for a while, so I figured a couple more sexless weeks waiting for test results wouldn't hurt. This is probably one of the most mature and responsible things I've ever done in my life. I was such a grownup back then.


MySpace in the Butt

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 17 September 2009 16:20

I met Alice on MySpace. I suppose that should have raised some red flags, but considering the kind of behavior I was engaging in back then, I honestly don't think I knew what a red flag was. Besides, it's not like I was actively looking for girls on MySpace. She just saw me commenting on her friend's page and mistook me for an old high school buddy. It was all very innocent.


The Crack Story

Written by AnDroid   
Thursday, 10 September 2009 16:20


I'd gotten to the bus stop just in time to see my bus drive away. According to the posted schedule the next bus wasn't coming until 1am – an hour from now. That meant I could either stand here and smoke pot on the sidewalk like an animal or stop in at Club Rouge for a drink, but I'd already blown way too much money going out tonight.

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